The infamous support letter...

To start this off I'd like to say that a lot of my insecurities on this topic come from my fear of judgment, not from my feeling toward people I have received these letters from.

Support letters. We've all received them. We've all been cynics. We've all judged.
I, myself, have always been very aware of peoples feeling (good and bad) toward "support letters". Maybe it's because somewhere deep down, I've had the fear that I would one day need to write one myself. And here I am! Sitting down, trying to figure out the least awkward way to tell everyone I'm going on a mission trip (without bragging), and ask them for support (without begging). I've decided there's going to be no way around the awkwardness. Story of my life.

But I had a really good conversation with a friend of mine the other day when I was telling him about my trip. After I finished telling him about the children's homes I would be working with he immediately asked for my address, and I immediately changed the subject. You see I have this problem... it's a thing called pride. Maybe you've heard of it? Anyways, I knew he wanted to help support me in my mission. But I was afraid of seeming like a beggar asking for money from one of my closest friends. He was relentless, and I eventually ended up giving him my address. He's a good friend.

After this encounter I started getting really nervous, knowing that I was going to need to probably send out support letters if I am going to be able to raise the $3,000 that I need. So after several days of breaking down my pride, Jesus brought this verse to my attention-3john 1:5-8. It talks about supporting believer that are working in spreading the truth. The writer of 3john is telling a friend that it is to their benefit to support these people, because it makes them co-workers. CO-WORKERS. How neat is that. This also helps me because I definitely cannot do this on my own.. I NEED some solid co-workers on my team. Not even necessarily for financial support, but for spiritual support.

So if you do happen to receive a letter from me, begging you for money, know that I respect you and want you as a part of my team :)

Shalom y'all.

Someday my prince will come... Right?...

So I have a problem... We tell our little girls that there is a boy out there, "their prince charming", and that he is perfect for them and some day he will come for her. We enthrall them with fairy tales like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White. All the while wrapping them up in the idea that there is this perfect guy out there that is going to come and rescue them from their boring, mundane lives.
And for us as christians it bother me even more! We use the whole "wait for your prince" slogan as a scheme to (for lack of a better term) keep our girls legs shut. The idea that we're putting into their head is that they should stay pure for their prince that is going to ride in on a white horse and sweep them off their feet.

Here is my problem...
What happens when this prince doesn't show?... Because it happens. Not EVERY female in the world is happily married to her prince charming. So my fear of this whole idea of promising our little girls things that we have no right to promise them, is that we end up robbing them of their own emotional  and spiritual individuality. I know that these promises are made with good intentions, but we end up putting their hopes and dreams in the wrong things.
Hear me right, I'm not saying that instead we raise up little girls that are self-sufficient with "Don't need no man" mentalities. We just need to teach them to depend on the right things. We need to teach them to become who they are suppose to be, instead of making them think that their is some little XY out their who is going to "complete them." Jesus will complete them! Last time I checked I hadn't met a perfect human being, let me check again........... Nope! Their aren't any. And you end up creating messes when have two people trying to take from the other in or to complete or fulfill themselves.

 I do believe that their are a majority of us out their that are suppose to find our"soul mates", and that God has designed the two specifically for each other, but to throw everyone in that category is silly. Think of Mother Theresa, what if she would have just sat around watching out her tower for her prince charming? That would have been a waste, and I don't believe that God wastes thing, especially people.

As christians I think we should teach our girls  to "fall in love" with Jesus, teach them that they don't need another man, and that if they do Jesus will provide exactly what they need. We should teach them to watch for their KING on a white horse (Jesus, He's comin' back y'all), and teach them to seek His heart for them, instead of chasing after a boy who will never be able to fully complete them.
And when it comes to physical purity teach them the truth about sex, and what it was intended for. And instead of shying away from the subject, teach them that they're honoring their god by respecting His boundaries even when it seems difficult and just plain not fun.

If you think I'm wrong here or my theory is flawed, let me know! I'm still just trying to figure all this out.
Shalom y'all.

Ebb & Flow

Just some of my late night writing on death and life and such.





 Caskets loom the earth below. They're always coming and rarely going. The lives they once were have lost their places here, so we hide them below in all their due spaces.    


"Ashes to ashes, we all fall down." The time is ticking until I meet the ground. But why do I fight it?...Even though there are those who invite it, I fear for the day when the two are united. LIFE and DEATH. Dark and light.     


I fear because I've never been, I fear despite the victory I'll win. I fear because I'll leave everything I've ever known, I fear because the Ebb and Flow. This ebb and flow I can't control. This light that will come despite my fight. Like a child on bath day I run the wrong way, begging everyone I hold dear to run with me. Because the only thing worse than going into the blinding light alone, is being left in the darkness. The darkness that is all I've ever known.   


 But there must be something beyond the cleft, because I have never again seen the ones that have left.


I'm sure I'll understand when I see those gates, but for now I'll just wait for the wake of this ebb and flow. Yes, I will wait my turn while these waters churn, in this ebb and flow of life and loss, and love and fate.

4.6.12

Today I was reading through some of our church prayer requests while I was in the prayer room. About half way through the book of requests, I noticed that a massive majority of them were about, or for, families... It ranged from prodigal sons, to custody battles, to sibling rivalry. It got me thinking...

Why are our family units in this country so weak? Why are we falling apart at the seems?

Along with raising these disheartening questions it also terrified me a little bit. I mean, what hope do I have of raising my own children in this world! How will I make my marriage different from the other 70% of Americans that end their marriages in divorce! These thought literally terrify me. But  then I was reminded of Matt. 10:21. Even the "good things in this world are going to fail. Brother will turn against brother, children will turn away from their parents.

BUT it also says that if we hold fast and endure, we will be delivered. Praise Jesus.
So I don't have any marriage or relationship advice, but here is some sturdy life advice.... TRUST JESUS. Believe that He will reward you for "fighting the good fight". It WILL be worth it in the end. Choose love. Choose to put others before yourself-IN ALL SITUATIONS (especially relationships).

Just a short blurp on what I got out of my time in the prayer room today.

Shalom y'all.

Have you ever had athlete's foot... in your mouth?..

I tend to be a very opinionated person (not my fault, product of the 90's here). I don't believe that it's a bad thing... All of the time. But it's not always a beneficial thing either. That is the main reason I decided to start a blog. My recent rants on Facebook have been explosions of frustrations I'm dealing with; and while  they convey my frustrations they don't always build people up, or even propose a solution. These rants usually just end up getting everyone riled up. What's the point of riling people up if it's not going to fix anything?
                 This has been my problem for the past couple weeks, and so the solution I've come up with is starting a blog, that way when I do have rants, I will be able to come back later with the solution that I've found. Because we all know that once you've said it on Facebook 567 of your "closest friends" can read it , and after they've read it, you can't take it back.... For someone like me, who puts her feet in her mouth constantly, this can be a problem.

               So here it goes! Take it, or leave it.

(Phewf, first blog done. That wasn't as painful as I thought....)