Thinking a little bit today about death and loss.
I know, a little morbid for a saturday afternoon. But really I was thinking more about change and how it effects our lives... which then trailed into how losing a person changes our lives, which then of course brought me to the thought of losing a person to the other side {death}.
{I'm trying my best to put my trailing thoughts onto this page... but it's difficult, so bear with me here.}
So in trying to comprehend what it is that makes losing a person just so difficult, I came to the conclusion that one of the biggest factors, for me anyways, is change.
Because when you lose someone, your life is going to change. Even if just in a small way, it's inevitable that there will be a shift of change. And for me... change is difficult. I usually come out at the end of it for the better, but it doesn't make that adjustment period any easier.
I typically go through that period kicking, screaming, and stomping my feet. So mature.
And of course I always try and justify myself and make myself look as noble as possible, by making excuses for why I feel the way that I do. But there are no excuses. There are usually no words adequate
enough to express the tearing in your chest when someone walks out of your life. So making excuses is silly. Not that you're not aloud to feel that hurt, but you don't have to make excuses for the hurt that you're feeling. Sometimes life just hurts. Plain and simple.
And processing hurt is difficult enough without feeling like you have to justify yourself.
Of course there is that point where walking in hurt will do nothing but cause you more hurt, so you have to crawl out of the fetal position, stand to your feet, hold your chin up, and carry on. But one of the good thing that comes from hurt is that it acts as an equalizer among us humans. We've all been hurt in some form or fashion in our lives {there's just no way around it}, so we should be able to assist those that are maybe stuck in the fetal position, and if we get stuck hopefully there will be some one there to pull us up.
Hopefully that wasn't as morbid as you thought it would be.
Just some thoughts.
~SHALOM~
