FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE: living and loving well

I have several friends getting married right now, one of them being my roommate. So wedding vows have been floating around in our recent topics of conversation. Every time I have heard people in movies or on tv saying those sacred vows recently, it’s been such a mind boggling thing, and it’s really got me thinking...

The “ for better or for worse” part especially puzzles me. The thought of VOWING to love and CHERISH someone even and especially at their worst is almost beyond me.

I’ve been in a really weird season this last year. Like a weird, difficult yucky season. One where I feel like I’ve taken ten steps back instead of any forward, and judgement is at the forefront of my mind and the tip of my tongue. This has made it difficult to love anyone, including myself. It has been rough. And I am pleased to say that I believe I am slowly climbing my way out this valley.

I share that to say, in this tough-terrible-weird season I have had people that have loved me well. People that have said (more with their actions than with their words), “hey, life’s hard. we get it. we know you don’t like you right now. but we like you, and we know who you really are outside of this funk. and we will stay by your side even through this.” And THAT is true friendship. That is the kind of friend I want to be.

I think that we need to vow to love people this way, not only in marriage, but in all of our relationships. Because that is what true love is about. It’s about believing the best in people when you see their worst; giving them the same grace that you have been given time and time again. I really believe that people will flourish when you love them outside of their actions. I think everyone needs some one to remind them who they really are when they forget. And who they really are is a person who is on the earth for a purpose, to accomplish something wonderful.

And don’t even get me started on the way that Jesus has loved us, because that is FAR beyond me. I. Can’t. Even.

Shalom y’all

rest

When I feel oh so tired and I cannot sleep
I  run to you to lay in your sheets

To rest my head is easier it seems
than resting my mind and these tossing seas

My desire for rest is exhausting at best

Even with my noblest intentions I cannot resist
but to close my eye to this hopeless abyss

Dreams seem kinder than reality
and the back of my eyelids hide this worlds atrocities

But still I wake in a different time
with an aching head and a heavy mind

This thing I've desired
still not found
This heart so heavy
still earthbound

So rest is not found here
in hiding from my fears

No matter how hidden the cave
I still find myself depraved

I need more than sleep
I need peace and REST

So I run to You
the only place my security is secured
where I can rest my mind and my heart is set free

So when I am oh so tired and I cannot sleep
I run to you and lay at Your feet
resting in the fact that I am where I should be

Boys That Ruin Plans

You might be thinking that I'm about to start some serious man-bashing with this post… but I'm not. So go ahead and put away your cast-iron skillets, ladies! I'm actually sitting here today with the intention of talking about how grateful I am for a few men that have stumbled into my life.

If you're like me, you are at that point in your life where a large percentage of your close lady friends are finding their special someones and diving into that big deep ocean of intoxicating instagram posts, constant flirt-texting, and the oh-so-romantic friday night plans. It can get frustrating when you're on this side of things, and it's difficult not to be selfish with the time and attention of the people you love. But when we allow ourselves to become angered and frustrated with these situations, we tend to point that frustration at the easiest person to dislike, and unluckily for them it tends to be the boo thangs of our besties. Obviously this isn't really fair and it doesn't benefit any of the involved relationships. 

{Side note: if you feel that the relationship your bestie is diving into is unhealthy, being angry and snarky at her boo isn't going to help the situation… but that's not what we're getting into here today. Just sayin'.}

I've realized that I am really grateful for the men that have stepped in and ruined a lot of our plans. Our plans to be crazy cat ladies together, to stay in every friday night and watch netflix, to crochet an entire room full of kitten mittens… I am sad that our plans have changed but I am happy about what they're changing to. I am grateful to see a man pursuing you and adoring you in the way you deserve to be adored. I am grateful for our perspectives changing as we watch what strength and gentleness look like in a real man. I am grateful that our plans have changed, and I'm grateful for the men that have changed them. 

So essentially what I am getting at is: don't be selfish, and check your perspective. Selfishness crumbles relationships and love(understanding) builds them.

Shalom y'all!