Decisions, decisions.

Here we go again. Yet another blog about living the "single life". I only write about it so much because I'm OBVIOUSLY an expert at it.... But this blog is more about living life in general, it just so happens to be from the perspective of a single life.

I'm about to head back to the states in a couple of days {2 to be exact}, and so I'm having to decide what to do next. Praying through a lot of it of course, but having to make decisions in the process. Which is always difficult, scary and exciting all at the same time. I've almost hit the 1/4 of the way through my life mark though{yes, the big 2-0}, so I really need to get cracking.

I seem to have found myself at a fork in the road, but this fork has like 57 prongs. Actually it's more like there is one fork in the road, and then the roads that follow that fork each have 57 forks. But at the first fork you have two path options. ONE- you can choose to go down the careful path. This path is flat and you can see what is in front of you for miles, and is therefore deceptively easy. Bumps in this road include; everyday drudgery, boredom, and self-loathing. TWO- you can choose the path up the mountain in pursuit of the treasures God has for you. {whoa, just got deep, I know.} Bumps in this road include: making the tough decisions, stepping around the norm, and carrying with you those who can't walk themselves. Two paths. Both with bumps and trials. But one of them holds within it great adventure and great reward {take a guess at which one I'm talking about}.

Okay, if you've read any of my other blogs you've probably figured out that I like analogies. A lot. It's just how I process things the best. So don't be judgin' me, ya haters. But seriously, I am at that fork in the road. Of course it's not a difficult decision for me to make, but it is a decision I have to make, none the less.

Another thing I have been processing is the everyday forks in the road {I won't use another analogy-for sake of the length of this blog}. The little forks like- "am I going to feel sorry for myself, or am I going to spend all my energy on making my Abba smile today?" or "am I going to be upset that I'm single and doing things alone today, or am I going to take advantage of this time alone with my Abba."
Am I going to choose JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, and KINDNESS?... by George, I think I will.

So whether you're single, married, betrothed, or at the "it's complicated" status; live your life to it's fullest potential. Choose to find the positive things about whatever your situation is, and choose to find the excitement in life. Not to say that this will make all of life butterflies and lollipops, but it will make it worth living- even in the hard times.


Just sayin.
Shalom, y'all.

"I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open"

Tomorrow I go in for my spanish language review.

The Lord most definitely had His own plan for this trip. I had not planned on learning spanish... Ever, really. I'm far to lazy of a person. But for whatever reason He has launched me off on the up-hill battle of learning another language.

I have had the privilege of receiving 2 hours of spanish tutoring {DAILY} since being here in Honduras. Not to mention being submerged in it every single day. And tomorrow, I go in for an oral exam to find out, exactly, what level of "spanish-speaker" I am. A little nerve racking, and of course I've been thinking about it for the past few days; thinking to myself "Lord, it would be really cool for me to be a Medium level.... Or, you could just loose my tongue and make me fluent real quick.. I mean, that would be cool too," but there I am running with MY plans!! When I hadn't even planned on learning spanish in the first place! My plan was to come to Honduras and hug some kids, and these past two months have turned into so much more. So I'm not really worried about what level I am anymore, especially after today.

Today we got to go to an Orphanage in Tegucigalpa, and while we were there I got to talk to some of the kids in spanish. I found myself just stopping in the middle of a conversation with a little girl and being like "Where am I?! What am I doing?!" The point is- none of this is my doing. I couldn't have made this happen even if I tried. PRAISE THE LORD!

Who knows what's next? Not me. But when I look around at where I am, and marvel at how I got here, I remember that my God is sovereign and His plans are good.

Shalom y'all.

Too much coffee in my system to sleep, and too much excitement in my bones to keep quiet.

So the other day some things started happening, and it's looking like there might be some doors opening up for me in certain places.
...Okay, I know there's no possible way that I could be more vague, but with these possibilities still being far from existence you can't expect me to just throw them out on the internet. Honestly, I don't even know if they're actually possibilities... they're more like possible possibilities, than actual possibilities.

Anyways, with that as a disclaimer, I really just wanted to talk about one of the beauties of being a follower of Jesus. This is a beauty I've experienced a lot of recently, what with my life being completely up in the air {I mean, so high to the point where you feel everything in your stomach jump- like when you go a little too high on the swings}. The beauty I'm talking about is PEACE. The peace of knowing  that God is completely in control, and that in being His daughter I don't have to worry about what I will "do" {or wear, or eat, or drink} because my Dad is looking after me. And if my dad truly does have everything under control, then why should I worry?! If I am His and I am walking with Him, I don't need to "figure out what I'm going to do next", all I have to do is wait on Him. With my eyes fixed on Him I can't go wrong.

Thanks Dad, for holding my hand through all this madness.

"I see the moon and the moon sees me."

Sometimes it's important to just stop and remember/attempt to comprehend, just how big God is.
Kinda like when you look up to the moon and really see it. See it for what it really is; not just a great big nightlight hanging in the sky, but a huge rock hanging in the sky that is reflecting the sun's light back to us here on earth. It'll blow your mind when the reality of something like that hits you. Something you've seen the presence of your entire life. You've walked in, and by, the light of it; then you look upon it and fully comprehend it, and it shakes your soul.
Part of what makes the moon so beautiful is that it's as close to staring into the sun as we can get {without destroying our retinas}. We can see the majesty of the sun by looking at it's reflection on the moon. We can walk by night, in the light of the sun- by way of the moon.
This, to me, is a beautiful representation of Christ's relationship with the world. This is just one way He has painted a picture of His love for me through creation tonight.

Hah, the line from a children's book that I used to read keeps coming to mind....

"I see the moon and the moon sees me, and the moon sees somebody that I wanna see."

-Just sayin'

Just some notes on what I learned this Sunday morning.

Jesus desires for our hearts to be in right standing before Him, before we try and fix ourselves morally.
Which is why He always brought to light the root of the outward act.
Adultery        >Lust
Murder         >Anger


MATTHEW 5:21-26

Jesus wants us to deal with our anger because- He knows that when we let anger fester in our hearts, we give the enemy a foothold on us; when he has a foothold on us it gives him the ability to destroy/teardown us and those around us. {ephesians 4:26-27}

Anger makes us jaded- makes us negative.
It makes us critical of the people around us.

VERSES 23-24 -if there is someone that has a problem with YOU then YOU go and do your best to make it right. Own what you did, and then some. <     you can't do this if you have anger in your heart towards them.

JESUS OWNED WAY MORE THAN HE HAD TO.

Two wellsprings that fuel bitterness (bitterness and anger go hand in hand)-
1) A failure to trust in the sovereignty of God.
2) SHAME. (shame is gasoline to the fire of anger)
     sources of shame:
     a) secret sin.
     b) when you believe you should be farther along than you are.



These are my notes from a sermon by Matt Chandler.

OUCH. Praise Abba for His abundant grace and mercy that is new EVERY morning.
I have seen anger and bitterness rip people apart from the inside out {myslef included}. I have been the one to dish it out and the one to receive it. And that's a two-way street that ain't pretty either way you drive. I have seen how the hurt that is inflicted on me by others, because of their own hurt, multiplies into more pain and anger, that is then inflicted onto more people. WHAT IS THIS CYCLE?! I'll tell you what it is! It's exactly what the enemy wants. And it needs to stop. Like, right now.

Our words are powerful and can be used to encourage or to tear people apart. Make a decision on how you're going to use yours. And when you mess up {it's gonna happen} ask for forgiveness, and make things right. Walk humbly, taking hold of the grace that Jesus has for you-DAILY!!

Just sayin'.
Shalom y'all

In Jesus Name- AMEN!?!

Got to see full-circle the nitty gritty work of Hope Coffee today. We got to go up the mountains to see one of Hope Coffee's farms! It was beautiful.  Upon our arrival to the farm- Mark got a phone call from a family whose roof had fallen in.

Mark on the phone with the family who's roof had fallen in.

{No, all of us gringos did not ride up the mountain on that bike}

The irony of this phone call is that the coffee we were about to go look at will hopefully be harvested and sold, to help pay to repair the roof that had fallen in.

Anyways, we then proceeded on to meet the family that runs the coffee farm. They welcomed us into their home and even offered us some of their produce.

{Honduran hospitality, y'all}

Then we got to see the COFFEE!!!!

Beautiful, right? If I was a coffee bean this is where I would want to grow up.

This tree was about 10 years old, so after this harvest they're going to whack it down so that the base will sprout a new tree. Learn something new every day.

So after we toured the farm we got to sit on the front porch and listen to the wisdom of an old farmer {one of my favorite pass-times}.

So that was how I spent my morning!! 

Then this afternoon we went to check out the house that had the roof fall in. This household  is one of the only ones in it's community that has a full family-unit {kids, mom, AND dad}. There are three sisters that live on one lot- in their own separate houses. Hope Coffee has helped provide water for all three of them by building them water storage units {called pilas}. Now one of them needs a new roof! Seriously. Their roof is scary. It might as well be held up by tooth picks. 

See, those tiles are made out of clay... and it's heavy. And as you can see here, the wood that should be supporting the heavy clay tiles is deteriorating.

Sweet little niños, they should not have to worry about their roof falling in on them in the middle of the night.

Mark and Beaux surveying the damage .

You can see here where the roof had collapsed.

So yeah. Pretty exciting day. 

My "take-away" for today {if you will} is- doing "good" isn't the goal. Bringing hope to peoples lives is the goal. There is only one hope that I know of that can absolutely change a life; that can take some coffee beans and use them to change lives, and that hope is Jesus! So we do these things in His name, that all glory would go to Him, and that through these things people would come to know the surpassing power of His loving kindness.

Oh, and Abba always has something up His sleeve!! 

Shalom y'all!

{PS~If you don't know about Hope Coffee, they are a local ministry that supports the local agriculture and economy here in Honduras. Essentially what they do is buy coffee from local farms {at a fair price}, roast and sell the coffee {it's some stinkin good coffee too}, and then the money that is made from the coffee is used for work projects in the community. For example- they help build houses for people in need, such as widows and single mothers, and they help provide clean water in communities that don't get any. ALL IN JESUS NAME!! If you want to check out further what they're doing here, in Honduras, {and maybe even purchase some of their amazing coffee} check out their website http://www.hopecoffee.org !!}

Gloria A Dios

This morning in my spanish class {which is just me and my tutor}, my tutor shared with me her testimony. She is the first christian in her family, and she told me about the burden she has for her family-that they would come to know the Lord. The details were hazy of course, seeing as how my spanish vocabulary is rather small. I completely understood her though. I understood the way her voice became shaky and the way the tears weld up in her eyes. I understood because I know that emotion. I know what it's like watching the people you love live their lives in complacency, not knowing the joy that lies just beyond their pride and disillusionment. I know {not fully, but partially} the weight of this burden that my Jesus carried to the cross.

The body of Christ is so beautiful. Not to speak in "churchy" language-but really think about that! Us as a body of people all have atleast one thing in common and that is JESUS.  He is our common-denominator. It's so beautiful that I can come to a place and culture that is worlds different than mine and instantly have deep relationship with people that a part of the same body as I am.  People that have the same burdens as I do.
Just one perk of following Jesus!!

The people that I have met here are family, and I'm going to miss them greatly. But I know that I will be having one big fiesta with them in heaven one day!! Family reunion, y'all!!! And that makes the thought of having to say goodbye a little more bearable.

And here's a little side note that I thought was kind of funny...
Today my tutor kept saying "gloria adios"while she was telling me her story, which I've heard some of my ballet students say when praying... This statement always confused me though because I've known that "adios" means "goodbye" ever since I was like 4 {one of the perks of being from Texas-you grow up learning spanish without even having to think about it}. So in my processing I was thinking "okay, well gloria is 'glory' in english.. so I guess 'gloria adios' is like 'goodbye glory'..." Come to find out the saying is actually "gloria A DIOS"...which is "Glory to God." Haaaaahhhhh. So gloria a Dios. He understand fully this language that I'm attempting to speak.

Just sayin'
Shalom!!